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that moment

March 25, 2016

it must have been divine intervention. how could you not think so… as your eyes gaze upward, a glimpse of heaven spreading out before you. on that ceiling, the sacred stories upon which entire religions were born, all told here in radiant pastel perfection.

yet he was a man. i wondered if he appreciated the magnitude in that moment—as he rubbed his strained neck and mopped his weary brow—of what his work would ultimately become. lying on his back, painting by candlelight, reveling in periods of progress and working through setbacks on a scaffolding high above. the end result: a masterpiece. the pinnacle. his ultimate vision fully realized after literally years in the making.

tucked away in a corner of the vast vatican museum hallways, amid miles and miles of tromp l’oeil ceilings and gleaming gilded frames, is a fragment, a sketch, of a man standing, head turned upward, brush in hand.

the man was michelangelo, and the graphic replicated from a letter he had written to a friend while painting the ceiling of the sistine chapel.

a few simple strokes of black along with words penned to a friend revealed volumes about the man, behind the masterpiece.

during the creation he vacillated between utter clarity and self-doubt, pressure to fulfill others’ demands and resolve to stay true to himself.  in his own words:

“every gesture i make is blind and aimless…my painting is dead…
i am not in the right place—i am not a painter.”

one of the greatest artists who ever lived, questioning, throwing punches in dark, with only his heart and the vision in his head to guide him. this beauty he created is now a beacon, yet the end product we all admire was the result of courage, endurance, guts and grit, behind the scenes. he encountered supporters and skeptics along the way, but in the end he had only one choice. to drown out the noise, all other voices—and stay true to the one inside himself.

ever since i was young, i’ve always been fascinated by biographies—barbara walters, behind the music—the story behind the story, of people who’ve reached success and fame, the so-called status of “having it all.” yet 9 times out of 10, a glimpse behind the curtain reveals that it wasn’t just their god-given brilliance or amazing talent or fate shining down upon them with good fortune, but rather their resolve: to overcome fear, failure, rejection, redemption, heartache or loss. finding their way meant walking, pushing, stumbling forward, despite not knowing what lay ahead.

when you’re in the weeds, in the thick of it, grinding it out just to get through each day, it’s nearly impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel, to know whether the final product will be what you envisioned.

yet despite the uncertainty, you have a choice: to stay safe... or forge ahead through the darkness. rely on what you’ve learned. trust your gut. stay true to your instincts and your truth. lean on those closest when you feel you can’t go on. have faith that everything will work out—perhaps not as you planned, but always always as they should be.

every line, every brushstroke, every blemish or mistake, acknowledged then let go of – all contribute to the masterpiece that is your life. it’s not just a passive exercise of watching things unfold. it’s acting, in little and big ways, with intention.

the act of creation—be it a tiny project or grand plan, a work of art or simply a day lived without regret—may be touched, ever so briefly, by glimpses of grace. but in the end, if it’s meant to be, it’s up to you. 

In beauty, art and design, perseverence, life Tags creation, art, defining moments
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18 days

November 25, 2015

From the moment we got the first phone call to our last goodbyes at the cemetery.

It seems strange to say we were “lucky” for this time. Her death was so sudden. Out to dinner laughing with friends one minute…and then, in an instant, the universe shifted. A 911 call, a series of emergency heart surgeries, a courageous if not unfathomable recovery, a fragile moment of light and hope…before it was taken from us.

Those 18 days were an emotional roller coaster. Ups and downs. Long road trips back and forth from Chicago to Cleveland. Time spent in our heads, praying, hoping, processing, questioning. Running through the carousel of favorite moments and memories.

It’s been a month since she passed. Yet despite that time, there is a still a rawness, a sadness, surely exacerbated by the holidays. The process of accepting that she’s gone, of healing, and adjusting without her in our lives, has only just begun.

Family and friends who heard the news echoed the feeling we all felt, privately in our own hearts, and every time we greeted each other in the waiting room of the ICU, squeezing each other with weary, teary, yet hopeful eyes. Until the end.

“No words.”

After going through it myself, and shortly thereafter hearing of other friends who have lost loved ones—it occurred to me that there really are no words adequate to sum up the loss.

Those 18 days were a mixed bag of doubt, hope, despair, numbness, strength, sorrow and ultimately surrender.

Looking back on the photos I took during that time, I realized that, consciously or not, the images below captured how I was feeling in those moments, in a way that words couldn’t. In shadows, in nature, in art on the walls at the hospital, in moments, in the sky… I was looking for an answer.

Not sure I ever found it in those 18 days. But I did find comfort. In the beauty. In the order of things. In the belief that somehow, some way, there must be a reason why. 

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In family, perseverence, beauty Tags death, perspective, perserverance, family
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the muse

April 21, 2014

“She thought she had a big nose and big feet, and she was too skinny, and not enough breast. She would look in the mirror and say, ‘I don’t understand why people see me as beautiful.’”

Who was she?

She could’ve been a friend or a sibling. The neighbor down the street. A daughter or a mother. Any one of us really.

But no, this perplexed bundle of insecurities also happened to be one of the most jaw-dropping beauties of all time. Muse to Givenchy. Fashion icon. Doe-eyed and demure yet stunning in anything, from ball gowns to ballet flats.

She was Audrey Hepburn.

When I read the portrait in Vanity Fair, I was stunned by this account from her son, Luca Dotti, who shared her belief that her signature look appealed to people because it “must be a good mixture of defects.”

How could the infamous, impeccable Holly Golightly possibly think such deep thoughts?

When she’s on screen, you literally can’t take your eyes off of her. She’s effervescent, flawless, floating above mere mortals in haute couture creations, gliding across the ether of unattainable glamour and blinding beauty.

Yet the image projected on the silver screen was only a facet of who she was. In this account, she is also human—with her share of sadness born out of the “hunger and danger” of World War II, insecurity, marital strife, indignance at the suffering she saw as a Goodwill Ambassador for UNICEF, and later in life, fatal illness.

Not that she was at all buried under the weight of these things, but rather, like all of us, they were deeply a part of who she was and how she perceived and pursued life.

What I find most interesting is that though the famous images of her are seared into our brains, it’s these quiet, beautiful qualities—her individuality, her simplicity, her elegance, her essence—that those closest to her loved and remember.

Hubert de Givenchy was her couturier, close friend and confidant for decades. When asked about their relationship, he said, “She was wonderful. She was someone unique. She was real. She was natural.” She inspired his most iconic looks and surely her beauty fueled his incredible creativity, yet in his description are words that have nothing to do with her physical appearance.

Her son shares a similar sentiment. When asked in what way his mother remains most physically present in his life, Luca says, “Through scent.” Not perfume…there are certain scents, you know, a certain cake, or a flower, things like that. It’s not so physical, but it’s powerful. And every spring, especially here in Rome, you have this smell of orange blossom in the air. Spring is coming and it was her favorite season. It makes me think of her.

In beauty, fashion, portraits Tags beauty, fashion, perspective
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the beholder

January 20, 2014

portrait of max

at first i wondered what it was like. to see through those eyes.

pale green-blue. point and shoot. piercing through the veil of all that was vanilla. beige. boring.

he saw in technicolor. a modern-day toulouse. saturated. infatuated. bright lights. rouge lips. making love to the moment with his cannon and his quest: for beauty. for drama. for all that was “fierce” and fashionable.

sitting around on a lazy saturday afternoon, he turned ordinary objects, people, places into emotions, stories, operatic moments. hipsters in wonderland, shot in the front yard amongst overgrown succulents and the LA sunshine. a carnie side show in a rented palm springs palace. decked out divas at the decadent viceroy.

his imagination danced in shadows and light. he shot leaves, vases, floors, furniture. interiors. exteriors. patterns. textures.

he shot everything. and nothing.

he was, by no means, an optimist. rose-tinted glasses? hell to the no. try bold-tinted glasses. he was seasoned in snark and the scenester celeb scoops. his love of drama only deepened with the cast of characters he met in lala land.

and his taste was not for everyone. glamorous. garish. provocative. polarizing. certainly not for the faint of heart.

but that was no matter. his vision was his own.

costumes. camp. collages. and above all, color. they all converged in these eyes. that saw the potential, the possibility, to elevate. any moment. at any time.

to him,

every surface was a canvas.

every window was a mirror.

every sidewalk was a runway.

every ordinary person—with a splash of red lipstick and some sultry staging—could emerge a supermodel or a washed up socialite or a delicious diva at the drop of a floppy sun hat.

statues were ancient sirens.

and his beloved cat, bruno, a prince, persian royalty, his highness in the hollywood hills.

to linger on beauty. to chase light. to devour color. to infuse into things or people a feeling. or a thought. or even better to create an entire story in a single frame.

that is what it was like to see. through his eyes.

and now through mine.

In beauty, portraits Tags portrait, beauty, photography
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mind the gap

October 19, 2013

if you’ve ever ridden the tube in london during rush hour, you know: it’s survival of the fittest. your body moves—or rather is moved—along with the black-clad mass of humanity pushing forward toward the platform. as you stand and wait for the train to arrive, you’re reminded, with quintessential british politeness and decorum, to “mind the gap.” translation: be careful while crossing the space between the platform and the train door. 

i’ve always found this warning amusing, as if “the space between” was the ominous danger. last time i checked, fear of being trampled or getting eaten alive by the jaws of life (aka the train doors) when, half-in and half-out, you can’t quite squeeze your entire body into the sardine-packed train car, was a much more perilous proposition. just ask my co-worker(!)…but i digress.

recently an old friend who reads the blog wrote me a lovely note. “thanks for all your photos and musings—they close the gap in such a wonderful way.” they were beautiful, unexpected words, and it occurred to me that it was such an interesting way to phrase the compliment. 

the gap. the space in between. the filler time spent refreshing our phones, worrying about plans, checking off lists, waiting for the next meeting or appointment or thing you have to do. 

is it really throw-away time? useless moments that mean nothing? is it blasphemy to think that possibly, they are…more?

last week, i was in new york for a work trip. big CEO presentation. high stress. down-to-the-wire drama the night before. shmoozy networking dinner. and many sleep-deprived nights. 

thankfully everything went off without a hitch and i was scheduled to fly out the next day. time for breakfast. an hour to kill before heading off to the airport. grab a starbucks in the hotel lobby, check email, scan the internet, pound my latte and hit the road?

eff that. 

fall in nyc. 18 blocks from central park. room to breathe. time to exhale. 

i put on my flats (yes, flats!) and hit the street. 

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manhattan. horn honking, fashion werqing, people watching, sidewalk trashing, construction worker whistling, people bustling, energy pulsing in this city that i love. 

and then the park. i’ve been there many times before. but was still completely swept. off. my. feet. 

mind the gap. don’t just step over, plow ahead, as if all the appointments in your outlook calendar are the only things that matter. as in london, the signs will be subtle. no one is going to block off an hour in your calendar to stop and smell the roses. 

i know you’re busy. i get it. but don’t fall victim to the real jaws of life, the mind-numbing routines, the corner-cutting rat race, the soul-sucking obligations. 

an hour. 20 minutes. a couple seconds. when you can, mind the spaces in between. they’re small. seemingly insignificant…but they can fill more than just the time. they can fill you up. and feed your soul. 

 

In beauty, life Tags london, new york, mind the gap
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photography lessons with the blind

January 14, 2013

Advertising is a funny thing. It can make you chuckle, wince, laugh, cry, roll your eyes, crack a smile...but mostly it can make you feel nothing. Often in my household, it's the grey matter, the background noise that occupies the space between real life and fantasy, substance and escape.

But every once in awhile, you encounter a campaign that changes the way you think. Alters your perception of an everyday thing. Inspires you to see the world—or yourself—in a completely different light.

Samsung’s “Photography Lessons with the Blind” is one of those campaigns. 

Background: In Korea, Samsung Electronics holds by far the largest market share for compact digital cameras. But the brand wanted to increase mind share—going beyond simply building good cameras to creating a brand with deep philosophical substance.

The Idea: They handed out cameras to 11 visually impaired students, taught them basic photography skills, and then travelled with them to various locations. Over 50 days, the students captured all that they could sense onto their cameras. Amazed at the outcome, Samsung opened an exhibition with their best photos—all of which had been turned into 3D sculptures so that the photographers could actually feel their pictures.

Beyond boosting Samsung’s mind share and earning Cheil Global a prestigious Cannes Lion, the campaign taught something even more valuable: That the mind sees what the eyes cannot, and that vision is but one way to view the world.

For those of us blessed with the gift of sight, do we use it? Are we present in those moments? Or is there more to see than meets the eye? More to observe, more to appreciate, more to feel with our heads and our hearts?

As the saying goes, “Life isn't about how many breaths you take but how many times your breath is taken away.”

In beauty, life Tags insight, photography, vision
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the beauty of a second

July 14, 2012

can you spare 5 minutes? if you’re like me, your knee-jerk reaction would probably be “of course not. don’t you know how busy i am?!” a recent article in the NY Times talked of “the busy trap” we all fall into. “it’s almost always people whose lamented busyness is purely self-imposed: work and obligations they’ve taken on voluntarily, classes and activities they’ve ‘encouraged’ their kids to participate in. they’re busy because of their own ambition or drive or anxiety, because they’re addicted to busyness and dread what they might have to face in its absence.”

we race around like the rabbit in “alice in wonderland,” frantically checking our giant pocket watches (ok iPhones), and fretting about being “late for [yet another] very important date.”

we count minutes and hours, days and months. and we never once stop to think about seconds, a time unit so miniscule that nothing remarkable could possibly transpire within it. but a recent campaign by mont blanc sparked a revelation.

“the beauty of a second” was a cannes-winning campaign for montblanc watches, conceived for the web and targeted to a worldwide audience. the simple idea was to ask people to create a 1-second long video that celebrates the fragile beauty that can be found in this small unit of time.

the results were simply breathtaking.

these were the inspiring user submissions around key themes:

1st round: seconds of beauty (1:07): http://vimeo.com/32071937

2nd round: night and day (1:10): http://vimeo.com/33978304

3rd round: instant bliss (1:08): http://vimeo.com/36897783

4th round: every second counts (1:12): http://vimeo.com/39489909

a new measure of time told by people’s lives. who knew there was actually space in such a tiny unit of time: to see, to breathe, to feel, to take in life. not just on week-long vacations. but in days, hours, the minutes in between, scrambling to work, during lunch, when the day is winding down—even during the seconds that tick away inconspicuously, fly under our radar, but are filled with extraordinary beauty.

if i asked you at the beginning of this post whether you could spare 300 seconds, the sight of those zeroes would have had you running for the hills. but it’s the exact same amount of time, only looked at through a different lens. our days are incessantly measured, but each tick of the second hand is a potential moment of revelation. will you wake when the alarm goes off?

In beauty, life, simplicity Tags advertising, beauty, beauty of a second, brand, campaign, montblanc, time
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